I fully understand that it is an explanation of why it happens.
But that doesn't mean it is an eternal law that it has to happen this way. Russia for example could try to accept that parts of it's past aren't that glorious. They never got cheated over eastern europe. What happened is that an oppressor with an iron fist (them) retreated from the countries it occupied for decades.
Well it gets complicated. For example, in several towns, and not the smallest ones, there's an active push to put up monuments to Stalin. And this is coming from the public, the government has little desire to do this, much less spend money on it. The first one went up a little bit ago, in Sochi, and now a second one has appeared in a semi-legal manner, after municipal authorities ignored all public requests, in Surgut. That having been said, the government stance doesn't help things either. And Russia isn't unique in this. Ukraine is in a similar boat vis-a-vis the crimes of Ukrainian Nazi collaborators, for example, and Poland recently has become more and more troubling in terms of revisionism (their MinDef recently had the gall to say that although the Volyn massacre was perpetrated by Ukrainian Nazis under German oversight, really Russian agents were behind it :hitwall ). So revisionism in general is on the rise in Eastern Europe as countries try to re-write history to suit their present-day narrative. And they're not alone in this. Few US history classes mention that Lincoln used troops to gun down anti-draft protests during the Civil War, and not many in France are willing to acknowledge the atrocities they committed during the Algerian independence war. It's a rather sad and ugly truth that this sort of thing is more common in Eastern Europe, and especially Russia (with all of the imperial ambitions).
And these countries through their own free will tried to join NATO and the EU as equals as fast as possible. What does Russia has to offer instead? Why can a country like Poland be on generally good terms with Germany after all we did but not with Russia?
The short answer is because Germany lost WWII, and the Soviets won it. Had the Poles lived under ~50 years of German Nazi occupation, it's not unlikely that the situation would be reversed, especially if Germany was never defeated militarily, and retained fond memories of it's time as a super power. That having been said, Poland and Russia have been at odds for centuries. For a brief time span Poland even treated Russia as a colony (this was during the Middle Ages). So there's a lot of bad blood there, not all of it necessarily relevant to the current problems.
The same applies to China. The imperial grapping of the US happened some 100-150 years ago.
As if China couldn't feel secure without the outer island chain and without full control of the yellow sea. And it's not as if it's immediate and rather innocent neighbours are the real target of it's agressive policy instead of the oh do imperial US.
The neighbors' islands are tools with which to oppose the US. But that's neither here nor there. Many things "could" happen in theory. But what matters is what
is happening in practice. There is a cascade of smaller conflicts with great powers balancing off against each other over them. It's not a good situation.
Saying that we need a new framework so that countries like Russia or China can bully their neighbourhood is not an option for me when just letting drop the big egos and perceived ancient slights to their honor is a much better option for everybody involved.
The west funding anti-government protests, ousting an elected government, pretending that an illegal junta is anything but, and then supporting fake elections (prior to which the two largest parties in all of Ukraine were legally banned) is anything but a perceived or ancient slight. Ignoring the UN and going to war in Yugoslavia and Iraq were not perceived slights to Russian honor, but real attacks on the post-WWII international arrangement, and they didn't come from Russia or China. Turning a no-fly zone resolution over Libya into an excuse for an all out bombing campaign, with SpecOps on the ground, didn't help either. And there are American trails all over both the color revolutions and Arab Spring. Hell, I literally took a college class, here in the US of A where a college professor taught us how color revolutions are started, organized, how to make one happen. It needs to be understood that once the US became the only super power after the Cold War, it started to act like the only super power. Russia and China refuse to acknowledge this, and are challenging this in whatever ways they can. Other countries, while not directly challenging America's status, are nonetheless undermining the US position by acting in line with their own rather then US interests. The situation is untenable in the long run on multiple fronts, and if we want to avoid a major war, real consideration needs to be given to an international arrangement that recognizes the changes that have taken place since 1945, and since 1994. If you really want to make the argument that big countries can't bully small ones, then the US, Britain and France need to set the standard by being willing to follow the same principles. If the they continue to act like they're special, and can do what they feel necessary when they feel necessary, while everyone else has to follow the rules (a crooked set of rules laid down by a handful of actors quite some time ago) then we are headed for another war. This is reality. No matter whose fault it is, no matter what is and isn't justified, political actions have to be goal oriented. If you goal is to be right no matter what, you might find yourself right, and in the middle of a burned out bombed out husk of a civilization.
Again, none of my commentary on western behavior does anything to excuse Russia or China. The point of it is to illustrate that the problem isn't just one of two countries acting up. The post-WWII framework as a whole is in trouble and from multiple sides.