Problem: Sydney Harbour Bridge is too low.
Solution: Demolish bridge and replace with more tunnels.
I'm available for more problem-solving consultations at reasonable rates.
Obviously the cruise ship access is a government policy decision that Navy has little control over.
However Navy does have some operational control over the situation. Make using Garden Island unpalatable. Pass on every single fee/cost associated with letting cruise ships use Garden Island.
The cruise lines would be charged mooring fees, right? Make them high. This is Sydney Harbour we're talking about, not Port Kembla. Charge them rental rates.
Utilities? Charge a fortune. "That's mountain spring water and 100% green energy you're sucking down, captain".
Passenger access? "Well, sir/madam, this is an active military base and as such there is a requirement that in the absence of background checks all persons must be patted down, screened, interviewed, psychologically assessed and full cavity searches for passengers exhibiting suspicious behaviour. If you co-operate fully we can have you visiting beautiful Sydney and hugging koalas in just over 90 minutes. 120 minutes maximum".
Vehicle access? Sniffer dogs, load searches, driver background checks. "For safety reasons, this truck needs a roadworthy check. It's a liability issue. Lawyers, huh?"
Naval dockyard activities?
- "Sorry, sorry. Coming through with this big crane and truckloads of gear. Sorry to be such a pain!"
- "Oh, those noisy dockyard activities? Complete coincidence that we are carrying them out next to your holiday-makers. We're not annoying them are we?"
- "The contractor keeps promising he'll be by to pick up that skip of rotting vegetable waste by the gangway. Would you like me to ring him again? Would you care to purchase some pine scented deodorant at cost?"
- "We always test horns, sirens and alarms at 3am. It is a military habit to do things when they are least expected".
- <Woppa-woppa-woppa>"The helicopter has just come out of maintenance and we need to re-certify that is can still physically fit on the ship. What did you say? Oh, I know it seems like it is hovering over the upper decks and the pool a lot, but that is just the way it comes into land. We should be done in a few hours and there won't be another re-certification until tomorrow".<Woppa-woppa-woppa>
- "It would be a terrible shame if something happened to your nice shiny liner, wouldn't it captain? And accidents happen so easily; hulls get scraped, mooring lines come loose...limpet mines get attached".