I think post-'91 there wasn't anything Russia could have realistically done to prevent NATO expansion. Despite assurances, NATO would have expanded eastward to some extent regardless.
I think often the framing aroudn this issue misses an important distinction. NATO did not expand by invading countries and forcing them to join. Those countries actively sought membership because of their own security concerns and historical experience.
You can still criticize NATO for accepting them. But then the agency of Poland, the Baltics, Romania, etc. has to be part of the argument too.
Equating voluntary accession to an alliance with Russia imposing its will by force on neighboring countries, as some here do, is just not a strong argument.