funny warries!

rattmuff

Lurk-loader?
MOUT B-force perspective

This happened 18th January 2007 between 1030 and 1200. Althught I should taken this more serious there's really nothing funny about it, but I cant help it.

We all had 4x10 rounds and two shrapnel grenades model 56.

This day was the last MOUT day of the week filled with, euhm... MOUT. We were told it would contain two big grand finale scenarios that includes everything we've learned that week, we also had to plan everything for our self and the two platoon commanders was the planners of this scenario.

I together with an other guy we got the funny job of being the "b-force" that is the opposing force. We in the opfor got some instructions from our Lt. to engage as the "a-force" make way through the street and then hide in a house and make it difficult for the a-force to take the building. Ok, then I asked how "mean" should we be? Don't be too "mean", was the answer. Ok, lets prepare I said to my partner. We discussed some ideas to make it impossible to take the building... my best idea was to make booby-traps out of two of our four grenades with a little help of duct-tape. But that was a bit "mean" and illegal, instead I started to rearrange the furniture.

Some time passed while the a-force were searching a big building. When they were done with that building they had to make it to the very building I and my partner were outside waiting.
Suddenly a saw a group move in forrsest and I ran in side the building up on a well prepared second floor and I waited on the other side of the building in window to engage groups running across the garden. Then I heard gunfiring and my partner running inside shouting, THERE're HERE!! and he ran up to the third floor to hide and wait. Meanwhile I saw movement and a group ran out of the bushes through the garden and I shot three burst of two rounds each. The instructor pointed that one died. Succes from my point.

Then I rushed to the stairs and took a grenade and pulled the two safetys and found myself waiting for the breech of the front door. Suddenly I heard how they got inside through a window and took one half of the bottom floor. Suddenly they threw a greande from the front door, but that group forgot to check how it looked like and I had been "mean" by closing the door to the hallway leading to the stairs so the grenade bounced out and went of. Now 3 more died and 2 got injured according to the instructor. Weee! I went.
I was still holding my grenade in my hand when the a-force got in side the hallway and I rolled my grenade down the hallway and I heard "SKYDD!!!" (translation: protection) then panic hit that group and half of them were lost in the blast, 3 injured and 1 death the instructor told. I ran very fast up the stair to be on a perfect spoot to "camp" with a perfect view on the stairway.

(when entering the second floor you see open door to the right blocked by table, open door left, stairs continues up to the third floor and two doors opened in the front of the room)

A few minutes later a grenade was thrown up but it go stuck in the mess of tables a chairs in the stair. They ran up and I saw a head and bang - clean head shot. He knew he was dead and he was pulled down by his mates. I regrouped to the left room of the stairway and two ran up and covered to the right and up the stairs, they didn't see me so I fired the last three rounds in the back of the guy covering the to the right. Another casaulty. Reload.

I regrouped again to one of the two doors infront of the stairway and set my ak5 to automatic and fired the whole magazine in about two seconds. 1 injured, 2 dead, the instructor said. Reload.

I then ran to the room beyond the room in the right and saw how suddenly lots of a-force soldiers in the stairway. I sneaked in my last grenade in the mess, killed 5 and injured 2. Then I got out of that room and I thought what would do now. The a-force had already taken two rooms on my floor so half my space was lost. I closed a door and put a table infront of it. I heard how they took room by room with grenades and then they got to the blocked door and manage to get a grenade inside, I ran for cover in another room. Then when the breeched I shot two with four rounds... then a huge opportunity came when one platoon comander enter the stairway and I fired two burst with three rounds and got the platoon comander and a squad leader, now I couldn't wait and i charged the stairway with my last four rounds. Then they got me.

Results: 15 dead and 8 injured. Huge losses in other words.

We used blanks and practice grenades(they have a real ignition but thats it).

It was real fun and exausting with all the smoke.
 

Mick73

Defense Professional
Verified Defense Pro
3 weeks of rations?
This is kind of torture not training. :shudder :D
3 weeks of the same bloody food day in day out! However Bob the cook did his best with what he had. He had his jack trunk of Cooks gear eg. flour, bread crumbs and herbs&spices etc.
Hey Bob, what's for breaky?
...Hmmm, hows fried canned egg and chicken n veg!
Sounds good Bob!...What's for lunch?
...Hmmm, hows chicken n veg with fried egg!
Sounds good Bob!...What's for dinner?
...Hmmm, How about something different... like chicken n egg with veg!
Gezz Bob, that sounds great...I like a change!:rolleyes:
 

LancerMc

New Member
Well I am not in the military, but I have seen and heard some funny stories over the years from different soldiers I have met over the years. This story happen about 7 years ago when I was in highschool.

My family was staying in a condo in Destin, Flordia during the spring of 2000, and as being in Destin you see a lot of military aircraft. Destin sits near Elgin AFB, Tyndall AFB, Pensecola NAS, and Hulbert Field. So in any given day it is not uncommon to see F-15's, C-130's, F-18's, and more. I having been a constant military aviaition lover, I have come to learn the sound of certain aircraft including enjoying the 7 am wake up call from the Tyndall F-15's roaring the down the beech front, which my mother wasn't a fan of at all. The last night staying in Destin, I had our condo balcony's door open to enjoy the last bit of the cool ocean breeze before returning to Indiana. Around 3 am I awoke to hear the noise big helicopt which was a CSAR CH-53 flying low and close the condo building. I stepped out on to the balcony to see the CH-53 enter a hover about 200 ft off the ground over a party of drunken college students (it was spring break no less!). Suddendly the CH-53 turns on all of its lights and you see over 50 drunken college kids run like crazy thinking the cops have come to bust the party. I am sure the CH-53 crew was laughing as hard as I was.:eek:nfloorl: It definately reminded me of an episode COPS.
 

kotay

Member
As you will all know by now, Singapore has a serious lack of real estate for military training and quite a fair bit of these (non-LF) training areas butt right up against dense urban residential areas.

Too many times, us homesick conscripts will be on an OP, overlooking blocks of apartments just across the road, and be sorely tempted to sneak over to the 7-11 on the other side to score some "rations".

Anyhow, on a platoon exercise, we stood to at dawn, on the edge of a tree line overlooking a car park and reservoir. Mind you, it is a very picturesque spot and also bloody deserted at dawn ... so, along comes a car that turns into the empty car park and parks in a prime spot right across from where we were. Pretty soon, the car starts bouncing around and the windows start steaming up :D

Needless to say, the PC and PS were quickly at our frontage investigating the "activity". When the deed was done (I assume), the doors on the car popped open and out came these 2 high school kids in school uniform (or should I say dis-uniform) leisurely putting their stuff back on and tucking them in neatly. At this exact moment, my PC decided to exercise his command authority to cancel the stand to and have the platoon move out of the tree line ... Heh :D

The gal tried for all of 2 seconds to put her bra back on and close her shirt before abandoning both and just hiding behind the guy. The guy, credit where it's due, spread his unbuttoned shirt to screen as much as he could.

While the gal was bloody embarrassed, the guy was actually quite chuffed at the thumbs up and winks that a few of us flashed at him.

Pity we didn't have the advantage of high ground ;)

Another time we had 4 police cars respond to a panicked expat's call, all because our MG commander decided to place his MG team at the foot of a block of apartments (just outside of training area) to provide support fire. 7.62mm metal blanks are loud! Kudos to the MG Cmmdr as the spot he was on was the best possible fire base but it took quite a bit of fast talking and pleading to have us, on the police report, miraculously shift 15m to be back (barely) within the training area. The expat? I'm sure he got over his welcome to Singapore experience soon enough and if he's back where he came from, may even be missing his gunfire to go with his morning coffee and news.

Lastly, a funny one from a mate of mine on his LOAC/ROE experience … Rules of engagement and other things reservists have to worry about

If there are any words you don’t understand … just assume that it’s a vulgarity.
 

LancerMc

New Member
This story comes from when I was a sophomore in college working at my city’s local air show. While I don't find it all that funny many of my pilot friends do. For the past few year I had been working during breaks in school fueling commercial, general, private, and military aircraft. A job that that pretty cool if you like planes. That year our air show was pretty packed with the Blue Angels, and other demonstration teams. My job sometimes afforded me time to walk around and talk to a lot of the military ground crew and pilots. One day I was talking it up with one of the USAF F-16 Demonstration pilots, and asked what I would like to see done in the air show. I told him I would like to see a full afterburner takeoff. The captain said he probably wouldn't be able to for need to conserve fuel for the show display. He did say if he had fuel left over after the display he would do a low flyby at full afterburner for me. An hour later he took off to do his display on the over side of the city, and I was called up to go fuel a MiG-15 and F-86. I first fueled the MiG, and could hear the F-16 doing its display routine over the city in the distance, by the time I was ready to fuel the F-86 the had F-16 returned and did some turns over the airport, and looked to be returning to land. Oh, Boy! was I wrong, as I was getting ready to start fueling the second wing tank of the F-86 the F-16 came roaring over at full afterburner at 500 knots at about 300 ft above right above me. It was bad enough I wasn't paying attention, but I didn't have my hearing protection in because there wasn't anything running on the flight line. The unbelievable noise nearly scared the shit of me, and in instinct I dropped the fuel hose to cover my ears. In the process of covering my ears, I nearly dropped a 30lb jet pumping nozzle on a newly restored F-86. Well needless to say I was white all over from the pain in my ears and the fact I almost just damaged a classic jet. A little while the captain came up to me and asked how did I like the fly by. Which I told him the story, and he just laughed at me and reminded me I should have had my ear plugs in.
 

old faithful

The Bunker Group
Verified Defense Pro
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #26
Nice!! Godd work guys, keep em comin!

Whist at the jungle traing centre at Tully, in tropical(wet) Qld,a digger made himself a hot brew (cofee). Added his suger and condensed milk,then,doing the a common thing,selectede a stick off the ground to stir it with.Some guys carry a wooden spoon for this purpose.(a lot quieter when stirring than any metal.) Well when he stired his brew, the hot water reacted with the stick,which released its poisonous sap. The effect was a lot like an LSD trip i am led to believe! Now when ever my unit gos to tully, you will find diggers stirring their brew with 5 or s6 different sticks! looking for the right one!!!:p: :eek:nfloorl: :confused: ;) :cool:
 
A

Aussie Digger

Guest
Ok, it is not me but I think some Canadian guys.

I know it may not quite fit in here but I nearly sprayed my monitor with coke. :D :eek:nfloorl:

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=9731d_4407
That was pretty good. :)

I saw a similar clip a few years ago of an Australian Rapier SAM missile firing. The missile was a little more impressive than that, it travelled at least 10m's from the launcher before hitting the ground and spinning around on the ground with it's engine still firing and of course armed with a live warhead.

Needless to say a few sprint records were broken by the Gunners on that particular day...
 

Waylander

Defense Professional
Verified Defense Pro
I would also shit my pants and run like hell if something like this would happen.

The most worse thing happened to me was on the tank live fire range.

The tank next to us was a little bit behind. It was his first shot during this day and the crew accidently put the wrong error values into the FCS.

The next second a KE hit the ground some meters to the left of us and I nearly pissed into my pants.
Much closer to 120mm KE impact than I ever wanted to get! :D
 

rattmuff

Lurk-loader?
From a swedish forum

It was in the mid 80's with the cold war going on and the air space over the Baltic sea sure was "hot"... A few SH 37 Viggens(recce fighter) is cruising over "international" water when some Soviet Su-15 intercepts and a Su-15 manage to get a radar lock on a SH 37 Viggen, the Viggen makes a steep roll towards the water and the Su-15 follows when suddenly the Viggen pulls up, and the poor russian pilot forgets everything and makes a pretty nice splash.


This might be a myth.
It is the cold war and after some disturbing reports the swedish air force has a really high scramble readiness. When two russian MIGs is to check the swedish air defence, SwAF scrambles and the MIG pilots receive orders to return home really f****** fast when the Soviet radars spots almost half the swedish air force in the air(that is some 300 fighters). Talk about strength demo.


SwAF had taken notice of a regularly flying SR-71. The Blackbird usually starts on bases in Germany, flew through Denmark, took a steep right over Copenhagen, flew south of Bornholm, east of Gotland and up towards the Gulf of Finland and go as far east as possible to be able to take a left at M 3,0. Then the Blackbird flew between Oland and Gotland, south of Bornholm, back to Denmark and then the AFB. These flights where made at top altitude and speed.
The first times the SwAF fighters didn't even get close to it, when the fighters arrived at the south tip of Oland the Blackbird was already in Denmark. Since it was always this pattern some swedish pilots started to plan. The SU had also tried to get a radar lock with MIG-21s but without any success. The Swedes adapted their tactics, the biggest chance of success was the new JA 37 Viggen in the second division(Martin Blue) at the 16th fighter wing.
So when the intelligence guessed the next time for the Blackbird to fly a few JA 37 Viggens moved from 16th to 17th fighter wing. The Blackbird were spotted over Denmark the Viggens immediately flew to be at standby over Hano bay(east of scania). The Blackbird turned south over Aland the Viggens went forward between Bornholm and Oland, then by opening all three zones of the afterburner and climb they could with the powerful radar (PS-46/A) not only follow but also lock it with a Rb71 Skyflash. A evaluation was done and they calculated that the Blackbird couldn't escape the AAM if fired.
Later the commander of the second division at 16th fighter wing received a diploma from USAF since it was the first time a foreign AF made a simulated, successful firing at a SR-71 Blackbird.
 

Pathfinder-X

Tribal Warlord
Verified Defense Pro
Ok, it is not me but I think some Canadian guys.

I know it may not quite fit in here but I nearly sprayed my monitor with coke. :D :eek:nfloorl:

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=9731d_4407
I would have ran for my life, but not before soiling myself.

As funny as this may seem, I was actually pretty jealous of the toys the regulars get to play with. I've only seen the Eryx once but never had a chance to even touch them. The only anti-tank weapon I got to play with was a M73 training around.

Of course, that's all history now.
 

rattmuff

Lurk-loader?
On my platoon we have a group of divers... One of them got the task to fuel an air compressor and as usual he spilled some gas (allot) on the ground (everywhere). Then his brain started to work on how to remove that gas. So he lit a bit of paper and threw it on the gas not realizing what he was doing.
He suddenly realized it and ran away to get the fire-extinguisher. He extinguished the fire and another diver called for their officer (captain). The captain arrived and explained how good he was by putting out the fire so fast. :rolleyes:
He replied with the one line you absolutely shouldn't tell a officer!
- Captain, it was I who started the fire and burned down the compressor.

What happened next I do not know.
 

mickk

New Member
Bang youre dead

The CH story reminded me of this.

One night me and a mate were at a holiday house down the coast, doing naughty things that boys do when on the loose for a weekend. No one around for miles, middle of winter, howling wind and rain blowing in off the ocean.

About 10 pm I hear the unmistakable whoomp whoomp of a Chinook. Aha I say, a Chinook is coming, lets have a look. So out we go, totally trashed, almost legless. Whoomp Whoomp it gets closer. I was "in" then and aha I say, its an attack. Mate looks at me as though I am mad.

Chinook appears over the cliff, 100ft, lights go on, mate thinks its WW3 or a drug raid. Its now hovering above us, house is shaking, shit blowing everywhere.

Grab the hose I say, there coming up over the cliff. Mate freezes, go and turn on the tap I say, he does and I stand armed with my 1/2 inch hose aimed at the cliff.

Chinook moves to the left 500 yards, its a bit quiter now but not much. Go get some spuds I instruct me mate, off he goes, gets spuds. I tell him to grab a few and get ready to throw them at the enemy that is about to come over the edge of the cliff. He gets em, but hes almost pissing hmself laughing.

ARMED CIVILLINS I yell and start hosing the cliff face like its on fire. Mate is now convinced I have lost the plot.

Suddenly black ghosts start appearing at the edge of the cliff. ARMED CIVILLIANS I yell and hose the shit out of them, GRENADES I yell and mate starts lobbing spuds. Chinook turns and comes back, landing lights on and hovers.

BANG BANG youre all effed I yell, hosing away, spuds being lobbed, wet angry men coming closer and closer, downdraft blowing water everywhere. No white grinning teeth, just pissed off 3 Co reserves all soaking wet.

I start hosing faces, pissing myself laughing.

Youre all effing dead, youre a failure Im yelling laughing.

Mate has collapsed on the ground gigglinig, yelling "I surrender".

Still no smiles, oh dear, we are the only two laughing.

12 troops pass through the back yard without so much as a wink. LIke angry drowned rats. Im doubled up laughing. One guy grabs the hose and hoses the shit out of me then cuts the hose.

Bang bang Im yelling.

Chinook comes in and hovers 50 ft above the house, trying to blow it away. mate is mooning the chopper. LIghts blazing whoomp whoomp whoomp.

Chinook lands in the paddock across the road and wet troops climb in. Mate is lobbing spuds as best as he can over the house.

We go back to the cliff with the dolphin torch and see 2 rubber duckies bobbing in the drink and spotlight them and they head off.

The whole thing took no more than 5 minutes.

Never heard anything about it, but I guess they failed the exercise.
 
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