Most computer games are but toys and certainly don't deserve the name "wargame".
And I'm extremely wary of any wargame with a contemporary topic. There's simply too much the designer can't know, because it's classified. It's not simply weapons data, it's also the way those systems interact, how, and how well doctrines integrate them, how well does the structure of the force that's supposed to apply that doctrine fits it, etc...
Of the commercial systems I've played, the ones that stand out are GDW-GR/D's larger Europa games - Fire in the East/Scorched Earth, Second Front and Fall of France, which are pretty good at simulating theater-level WWII operations, The Gamers' Operational Combat Series, which is outstanding at simulating army/army group-level operations, and Mark Simonitch's The Legend Begins, the most elegantly accurate North Africa game I've ever seen.
Computer wargames are too weapons-oriented. Weapons are important, of course, but they're just the tools for your doctrine. They're only really relevant for tactical simulations. At the operational level and above, how you use them is much, much more important than which side has the best tanks, ships or planes.