Aviation Humour

Pathfinder-X

Tribal Warlord
Verified Defense Pro
Since we don't have a humour section, I will post this here since it is related to aviation. I think keeping the mood light is good for the site and our brains once in a while.

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal the number of take offs you've made.

3. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No-one has ever collided with the sky.

4. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

5. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

6. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller... That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

7. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

8. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

9. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you and a tenth of a second ago.

10. There are old pilots and there are brave pilots. There are, however, no brave old pilots.

11. You know you've landed with the wheels up if you need to engage the afterburner to taxi to the hanger.

12. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

13. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

14. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

15. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

16. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
 

aaaditya

New Member
well pathfinder your sense of humour is just a decimal point above zero,but still that was a good try ,though i think you should find some better jokes.:teary
 
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WAR

New Member

Nice attempt.

I am sure it would go a long way in what Ludwig Wittgenstein said:

"The job of the Philosophers is to convert latent nonsense into patent nonsense."

The bottom line is -- to patent things, may it be aviation humour or else!!!!!
 

amber

New Member
Area 51

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"
Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane...only this time there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!":duel:dance2:sniper
 
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